Imagine.



Jesus looking down at a little girl and showing her the world: smiling, laughing, bright excitement, love, contentment, joy, fulfillment, safety, rest, truth, beauty, cherished...it brings out beauty. Beauty called out.




After I watch this video, I cry EVERY time. Not because it is well made. But because it reminds my heart about who is seeking me and how He longs to hold my affections.



The Lord reminded me...."You are loved, Kristina. don't for forget that I have a plan for you beyond this world, beyond this universe..beyond this place of life. I have called you higher to dwell with me in my heart where I live. Don't be afraid of the heights. You have always wanted to fly.

To fly you must be up high. A risk. A Risk."

I am so easily distractable. Whatever is going on at the moment I am drawn to and it takes my attention. But I've noticed that I am becoming numb. Numb to the things that used to prick my heart and numb to putting the Lord first. I run to everything else that provides temporary fulfillment. I can so feel what Paul is saying in Romans 7:15-18...

"What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.

But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time."

How this passage echoes my heart's cry. I long to follow the Lord's commands yet I seem to fall short every time. I can give grace to others quite easily but with myself it is so difficult. I'd rather give excuses.

It's so incredible to me that the Lord is not surprised with my shortcomings. He didn't wake up today and realize that I am fallible. He knew it all along and He fights for me. He fights for my attention. He fights for my affections. He longs to capture my heart and be the first thing on my mind. How is this possible? I don't deserve such a love! Doesn't He know this?! Doesn't He know? I think it scares me that He not only knows that I don't deserve it, but He doesn't care.

He loves me anyway.

The me that no one that I don't allow others to see..He loves all of us this way. What a wonderful Savior! I don't have to be bogged down by guilt but I can be FREE to sing and laugh and play in His presence without fear of condemnation!! I am chosen! YOU are chosen! We can all sing together in Unity because we are messed up...BUT we are loved! He wants me to seek Him first and obey because He knows that that is what is ultimately best for me...and He loves me enough to love me in spite of how I treat Him.

What a beautiful paradox.