Sooo....there's this guy....

Jesus....I'm so confused. Is this not your will for me? Am I settling for 2nd best? I think that Ty is amaaaaazing and I'm not sure how to react to the tumultuous feelings of different emotions. God I almost wish it was a simple yes or no so I don't have to try to judge him to say no. I'm absolutely crazy when I'm around him. He makes me so happy. The only thing I see that makes me say no is that I might move to China and he has one more year of school left. BUT GOD! He's so perfect. I would love to have some deep conversations with him and just pick his brain. He is also SO attractive. I'm not attracted to a lot of guys, but he is SO cute. I am in awe of his love for people and his love for you. He is also really smart and has a love for you. I feel like he really cares about what is going on in people's lives. Lord I really want to spend time with him, it's crazy. It made me sad that he didn't come to prayer tonight and chose to watch Lost instead. Do I really want a guy who would do that? Hmm...Well I guess I don't know the whole story but that wasn't cool. Lord, should I excuse that? But I really really really like him and I just wanted him to come. It was so good to talk and listen to him beforehand and you really do seem to put him in my path when I don't ask you to. Like at dinner tonight. I wished that I could go over to him in line and ask him a question but he came OVER TO OUR TABLE! Ahh...I love it. He's so smart and dang he looked really good in his tshirt tonight. I don't know how a relationship would work though...I mean we would be so far apart! ugh...i hate trying to plan things when they aren't controllable or plannable. God, teach me how to trust you in this situation. I pray that you would help me to wait on your perfect timing rather than trying to take control and create my own perfect situation. God help me to let him go if that is what is needed. I trust that if I let him go that we can become even better friends than if I held onto the hope of a relationship. Help me to focus on you and your truth rather than on him. Thank you that you are in control and that I can trust you. It was so good to hear from Jon and all that you are doing in his life and his relationship with Danielle. Lord I want to just live in the here and now and just let you take care of the rest. I can let you take care of me and I don't have to manipulate. help me with ALLLLL the HW